Two hundred marks on Drina

Today at the bank, I saw some kind of a poster showing 200 convertible marks bill. At the 200 KM bill (which is the largest appoint by the way) the honor belongs to Ivo Andrić do be on its back side (btw, quick- info: Ivo Andrić was from Dolac near Travnik, a colourfull little town, known as a birthplace for some of the greatest men of modern history like Zlata Bertl (the inventor of Vegeta), William Clinton's uncle, ex- president of the United States, Neil Armstrong's great great grandfather- the first man to wakl on the Moon- supposedly. But, Miroslav Ćiro Blažević is not from Dolac. He's from the neighbouring Dolac on Lašva).
The interesting thing is that every bill has two versions- one Federal and the other one for Repulic of Srpska. So, Ivo Andrić ended up on the RS version as well but on 1KM appoint (which I have never seen btw). I guess it is Ivo Andrić in its Serbian phase.
But, the 200 KM bill is common for RS and the FB&H- Ivo Andrić while he was Bosnian, Croat and a Serb at the sam time.
Anyhow, at one time last spring while I was exchanging currency at a local bank I receive that 200 KM bill.
That was "One Million Dollars Check" in Bosnian version.
In a famous noir hit, "One Million Dollars Chek", if I can remember, and I don't remember it too good, some guy receives a check on one million dollars and it gets him everthing he wants without actually spending a single cent. He loses that check and then there's trouble. It' s the same here, 200 KM in a wallet and off to the City. One should eat something, right?
So I enter into a burek restaurant.
- "Good afternoon"
- "Good afternoon"
- "Can I have 300 grams of burek and 200 of cabbage pitta?"
- "OK, anything else?"
- "What's that?" - I point at something undefined
- "Potato pitta"
- "Give me about 200 of potato as well."
- "Anything else?"
- "Errrr... give me one yoghurt."
So that Albanian guy gives me pile of pitta, I swallowed it with pleasure and pour it with Dukat's yoghurt.
- "I would like to pay."
- "Just a second... ccc... 300 burek, 200 cabbage, 200 potato... yoghurt...3...5...8...9,5!"
- "Here's ten"- and I give the 200 KM bill to the man.
He' stares at me... I'm holding 200 marks in ma hand looking like a flood victim.... semi- dirty "Vietnamese" jacket on me, dirty sneakers, dirty trousers and a hat saying "Splitsko- dalmatinska County's Hunting Association".
- "I don't have the change for that, man" says the dealer.
- "Fuck it, I don't have a smaller bill" - I didn't have any larger bills either, but it sounded like I had at least ten 500 € bills in my wallet.
- "It's ok, you can pay another time."
- "When? Come on, go and change it somewhere"
- Come on man, there will be another time."
Godsbe. So I walk out of that place thinking is there a man alive to forgive 10 marks. In a burek restaurant...
So I keep on walking and realize that I do not have any cigarettes.
- "Two Drinas, please."
- "3,40"
I hand the miserable bill, when the lady behind the counter (whom I always thought that had something for me):
- "It's OK, some other time"
Uff, fuck... this went nicely...
So, I move on and in some coffee shop/ bistro/bar (who can remember where it was?) I run into some of my friends and after a couple of drinks I'm off to settle the tab.
You know the story by now...
Anyway, that's how I went through half of Sarajevo and wherever I have waved with Andrić in my hand, it was like having a get-out-of-jail-free-card.
Then I returned to the bank.
- "Good afternoon."
- "You want to "break" Andrić- , right?"
- "How did you know?"
- "You're not the first to come back. How do you want it changed?"
- " 20 times10!"
I've counted off my money and went on paying bills all over the town. It's beter to have a clear face than to have Andrić in wallet

First time published at Jimblog under the title "Na Drini dvjesto maraka", on 20th of December, 2006 AD

Thanks to Dorian for translation